I couldn’t sleep last night so I went downstairs to watch Dr. Zhivago, wondering if I would like it any better than I did when I saw it with my friends in the ’70s. Don’t know why we saw it then, had it just arrived at one of those discount movie theaters or was it some kind of revival?
Anyway, I didn’t like it all, and I certainly did not have a crush on Omar Sharif, like so many of my friends, all older girls, so maybe that was it. And I still don’t like it, but it was something to have on in the background while I comforted Skipper and Shadow and myself.
Skipper and Shadow sat with me, but Skipper was clearly in a lot of pain. I could see it in his eyes as he plastered my face with kitty kisses in quite an urgent fashion. That breaks my heart. I so want to take his pain away from him.
Then he settled down on his side of the couch and Shadow sat on my lap. He also needed some reassurance and love.
I picked up the iPad and searched on grief sites and moving, etc. to try to gain some insight into what we should be doing going forward. Is this really a good time to move from the house they know and love and where Lovey lived?
I mostly found information about people choosing to move after a loss because they didn’t want to be reminded of their son or daughter, etc. That was not recommended or any other big decision during a time of grief.
Also, pets and kids need their regular routine. To move during grief sounded like a bad idea for all of us.
But what about a move that’s already planned or desired before the loss? That sounds like a bit of a different situation. I found one site about a family who’d moved and then “the dog died.”
That’s what had happened to us with Buddy (our cat) the last time we moved to Orlando. Was that a lesson to be learned? Back then I remembered explaining why we were moving back west, “When bad things happen, I don’t want to be far from home.”
Is this a warning not to leave? But what about when the grief has passed, and it’s summer and we’re dying to get out of here? Would we regret not catching the train that could have taken us to a new place? We already turned down the trains leading to the SF Bay Area and SoCal. There might not be another train.
I returned Lovey’s white wrap to the bed and the green wrap, the last place she’d sat, back to the couch. It feels good to see her things on display.
Lovey and Shadow on her white wrap on the bed
A normal day for Lovey – enjoying her white (creme-colored) wrap on the bed
Lovey, August 10, 2016
Lovey, September 24, 2016
We were cleaning the carpet and had moved some of the furniture, but when she saw her kitty stool on top of the chair, she had to sit there – lol!
Lovey, October 7, 2016
Lovey, December 13, 2016
When she wasn’t on her bed or snuggling with one of the other kitties, she was sitting on a lap.
Lovey, February 8, 2016
Lovey on the green wrap on the couch on her last day of her life (you can see how thin she’d become) next to her Skipper on the leopard wrap, peacefully sleeping with his Lovey nearby.
I had so hoped I could fatten her up with snacks and other treats, although she retained a healthy appetite until the last 2 days of her life. The diabetes, while seemingly under control, was working against her, and she slowly slipped away from us, although it seemed like it was shockingly sudden. But it all seemed to escalate after the dental work on January 9. Our wonderful vet had deemed her healthy enough to undergo the work, and had recommended it for her overall health, but sometimes I wonder… but you can’t second guess yourself – she got to crunch on her favorite dry food and snacks again and it’ll only interrupt the grief process by questioning everything.
Shadow is hanging out on the loveseat in my studio where he and Lovey snuggled together. Maybe it’s his way of being close to her, remembering happier times.
Lovey and Shadow snuggling on the Disneyland wrap on the love seat in my studio
Lovey and Shadow hug each other on the love seat
Shadow and Skipper are back to wrestling the way the “Burmilla Boys” do. I’m thinking that they’ll bond even more, and maybe they’ll be up for a new adventure.
Shadow leaning into his “Big Daddy” Skip