Wishing I could skip the grieving process – don’t want to go through it again – but I can’t. What I can do is show gratitude for the extra 4 years we thought we wouldn’t have with Lovey. When she was struggling with diabetes and flea bites in Sunnyvale, she got really thin and bare. We thought for sure she’d never make it back to our house in Vegas. We thought we’d move back in with just Skipper. But she proved us wrong.
She got to finish the rest of her life in this house, which we think of as Lovey’s house, and what I’d hoped for her. She ruled the bed, and the boys honored her queendom. And she got to be mommy to Shadow, something she was born to do. At three years of age, he’s outgrown that need for a mommy cat, but he and Skipper have gone from a father/son relationship to pals. They wrestle and pal around with each other.
That leaves me without a girl. That’s the loss I felt after Ginger left us. I needed a girl. Now that Lovey’s gone, what strikes me the most is how much that relationship meant to me, and that with her, I aimed to please. And without a little girl to please, I feel a bit lost. I had no idea about that pleasing portion of our relationship until she was gone.
We don’t know what today will bring after this meeting, but in the midst of grief, we need to consider our options:
- Stay here and get another girl and a Disneyland AP
- Accept a potential opportunity and move on; holding off getting another girl until we can move into our next new house
The question we face is, is it better to remain in the house where Buddy and Lovey and Skipper and Shadow have all lived, providing us with a houseful of memories? Or move on, creating new memories not to be reminded of old memories around every corner?
Speaking of memories, one of the most dramatic moments occurred soon after we moved into this house. Right away I was concerned by the open wall from the loft to the downstairs entry. I was so afraid one of the cats would slip and fall and hurt themselves. Sure enough, as much as we tried to block that area off, Lovey jumped off, attempting to land in the high window but the ledge was too narrow so she readjusted herself and made a forced landing on top of the coat closet. Rich had to get the ladder to get her down. He remembers how hard her heart was pounding – she was so afraid. So we immediately hired somebody to build a wall upstairs so that this could never happen. We were locked into the master bedroom all weekend long while this work took place.
Las Vegas house where Lovey jetted off the loft wall on the left, headed toward the window and made an emergency landing on top of the coat closet.
The other Lovey memory here was soon after we moved on – she followed me out to the front porch, probably thinking it was just another room because she never went outside. I yelled, “Lovey,” and she ducked low and froze in place. I then picked her up and carried her inside. I was so afraid she’d run when I yelled her name – thankfully, she didn’t. I was always afraid the cats would get outside.
On a side note, when we were living in that Windermere townhouse just 2 miles from Cinderella Castle, I pulled up in the Mustang and parked out front. Rich stood there with the door open, and so Skipper just wandered out to greet me. He could have been eaten by a gator – we did have one show up on our sidewalk one day. Okay, so it was just a baby. Still, this is why mommies don’t like to leave the kids with daddies. 🙂
Windermere, Florida townhome, 2 miles from Cinderella Castle
And when we were living in Oregon, I’d left the slider to the backyard open without realizing it and actually took a little nap on the living room couch. When I woke up and noticed it was open, I started looking for the cats. I told myself, “I don’t want to see one of the running up the stairs” knowing they’d been able to get outside but, sure enough, here came Buddy running up the stairs with a leaf in his mouth, presenting me with a gift.
And then back to the Lovey adventures, there was that time in our house in Tampa Bay. Rich and I had opened the slider to sit out on the screened-in Lanai, and closed the slider behind us. The next thing we knew, we heard a latch. Yep, Lovey had locked us out of the house. Rich had to go to the neighbors and asked to use their phone (he was wearing shorts and no shirt) to call the locksmith. After that, we learned to bring a set of keys and a cell phone whenever we go outside. 🙂
Tampa Bay house
Oh the adventures we have had!
Pics of Lovey when she was a tiny kitten in our home in the Portland, Oregon area (where we got all 3 kitties while living there and later Shadow by plane).